Hey, Jimmy, did the corn come from Indiana? Some dear friends of ours went to see his relatives in that state and came back with some Indiana corn that they shared with us. Already shucked. Great neighbors! My wife has not cooked it yet, but I am looking forward to eating it. Typewriter-style, left to right.
Well, the corncob itself actually moves from right to left.
I believe there is hope for you two. At least you are not cheating on each other (cutting kernels off with a knife). For a few months out of the "ear" lay those pearly whites on the cob. Tastier than the petrol they refine from it.
The toilet paper thing is solved by the patent filed:
The real story here is that the patent date is 1891. Seriously. Pythagoras and Parmenides figured out that the earth was round and calculated its diameter around 2500 years ago, but we couldn't wipe our butts properly until just less than 130 years ago.