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Post by fkaJimmySee on Aug 1, 2020 2:55:40 GMT -5
Stopped yesterday afternoon at the local farm stand, fully masked and maintaining social distancing. Purchased large ripe red tomatoes, first corn of the season, and an Indiana seedless watermelon. Made for a yummy dinner, tomatoes with a little olive oil and feta cheese, kalamata olives and a mild onion sliced in; corn having no need for butter at all. But noticed as we dined, I eat my corn horizontally off the cob, like a typewriter working across the page, my bride vertically, round and round in circles. Can this marriage be saved? IS THERE A FUTURE FOR US!?
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Post by gato on Aug 1, 2020 5:27:46 GMT -5
Stopped yesterday afternoon at the local farm stand, fully masked and maintaining social distancing. Purchased large ripe red tomatoes, first corn of the season, and an Indiana seedless watermelon. Made for a yummy dinner, tomatoes with a little olive oil and feta cheese, kalamata olives and a mild onion sliced in; corn having no need for butter at all. But noticed as we dined, I eat my corn horizontally off the cob, like a typewriter working across the page, my bride vertically, round and round in circles. Can this marriage be saved? IS THERE A FUTURE FOR US!? The manner of hanging the toilet paper roll is the deciding factor.
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Post by Riff Twang on Aug 1, 2020 5:28:40 GMT -5
It all depends. Do you start from the left or right, and does your bride start at the top or bottom? These are the all important considerations in corn eating relationships. You have my ears Let' stalk about it What would husker do Ask the kernel
Sorry to be so corny
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Aug 1, 2020 8:23:44 GMT -5
When you're both indentured (heh!) all will be equal.
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Post by Mfitz804 on Aug 1, 2020 8:36:27 GMT -5
Typewriter style is the only way, and you are supposed to “ding” when you get to the end.
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twangmeister
Wholenote
Posts: 349
Formerly Known As: Twangmeister
Age: 72 and fading fast.....
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Post by twangmeister on Aug 1, 2020 9:11:04 GMT -5
Then there is the issue of corn holders (Mrs Twang) or bare handed (Twang).
It took me 36 years to get my wife to understand that I didn't want to use those effete things.
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Post by HenryJ on Aug 1, 2020 9:11:13 GMT -5
Hey, Jimmy, did the corn come from Indiana? Some dear friends of ours went to see his relatives in that state and came back with some Indiana corn that they shared with us. Already shucked. Great neighbors! My wife has not cooked it yet, but I am looking forward to eating it. Typewriter-style, left to right.
Well, the corncob itself actually moves from right to left.
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Post by Leftee on Aug 1, 2020 9:16:07 GMT -5
It all sounds dicey. At least you have each other’s ear.
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Post by funkykikuchiyo on Aug 1, 2020 9:47:38 GMT -5
I've heard lamer excuses to back out of dates, so I'm going to guess "no".
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Post by Seldom Seen on Aug 1, 2020 10:16:41 GMT -5
I won't even go there.
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Post by larryguitar54 on Aug 1, 2020 10:24:56 GMT -5
So everybody is eating corn however they feel? How can you bring up children in that situation?
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Post by Taildragger on Aug 1, 2020 10:31:51 GMT -5
This should end the argument:
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Post by Auf Kiltre on Aug 1, 2020 10:34:07 GMT -5
It took a 2nd cup of coffee to comprehend that you weren't talking about holding the cob vertically, which would indeed be odd.
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Post by Mfitz804 on Aug 1, 2020 10:47:42 GMT -5
It took a 2nd cup of coffee to comprehend that you weren't talking about holding the cob vertically, which would indeed be odd. Anyone doing that is a sociopath.
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Post by zoikzz on Aug 1, 2020 10:47:52 GMT -5
I believe there is hope for you two. At least you are not cheating on each other (cutting kernels off with a knife). For a few months out of the "ear" lay those pearly whites on the cob. Tastier than the petrol they refine from it.
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Post by RufusTeleStrat on Aug 1, 2020 10:55:01 GMT -5
The toilet paper thing is solved by the patent filed:
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Post by Seldom Seen on Aug 1, 2020 11:00:30 GMT -5
It took a 2nd cup of coffee to comprehend that you weren't talking about holding the cob vertically, which would indeed be odd. Oh...I should have waited until my third cup-o-coffee to comment.
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Post by bonchords on Aug 1, 2020 11:11:56 GMT -5
I don't think I've ever seen anyone eat corn vertically. Having the cob rub your full face as you eat doesn't sound appetizing.
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Bopper
Wholenote
Motor City USA
Posts: 505
Age: 72
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Post by Bopper on Aug 1, 2020 11:19:00 GMT -5
I am familiar with this (exact) situation. So far, so good.
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Post by Auf Kiltre on Aug 1, 2020 11:23:32 GMT -5
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Post by jhawkr on Aug 1, 2020 11:46:38 GMT -5
The big question is do you consume right to left in the Southern Hemisphere 🌽🌽🌽
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Post by Taildragger on Aug 1, 2020 11:53:16 GMT -5
It took a 2nd cup of coffee to comprehend that you weren't talking about holding the cob vertically, which would indeed be odd. Oh...I should have waited until my third cup-o-coffee to comment. Exactly why I haven't posted on the haiku thread yet: without inadequate caffeination, I tend to lack sufficient laser-like focus.
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Post by Taildragger on Aug 1, 2020 11:54:45 GMT -5
The big question is do you consume right to left in the Southern Hemisphere 🌽🌽🌽 It only looks that way because Australians eat their corn on the cob upside-down.
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Bronx
Wholenote
Posts: 273
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Post by Bronx on Aug 1, 2020 12:16:09 GMT -5
I'm left handed so I eat corn right to left.
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Post by jazzguy on Aug 1, 2020 12:21:17 GMT -5
left to right and spinning, sorry
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Post by funkykikuchiyo on Aug 1, 2020 12:28:53 GMT -5
It took a 2nd cup of coffee to comprehend that you weren't talking about holding the cob vertically, which would indeed be odd. I think eating it lengthwise would be worse. Especially if you can maintain eye contact without blinking.
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Post by De ville on Aug 1, 2020 12:31:07 GMT -5
Typewriter style is the only way, and you are supposed to “ding” when you get to the end. LOL!
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Post by funkykikuchiyo on Aug 1, 2020 12:32:49 GMT -5
The toilet paper thing is solved by the patent filed:
The real story here is that the patent date is 1891. Seriously. Pythagoras and Parmenides figured out that the earth was round and calculated its diameter around 2500 years ago, but we couldn't wipe our butts properly until just less than 130 years ago.
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Aug 1, 2020 12:47:47 GMT -5
Let's leave this to the professionals:
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Post by rickyguitar on Aug 1, 2020 14:05:15 GMT -5
Does she close her eyes? That's all really matters.
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