|
|
Post by ninworks on Sept 19, 2020 10:46:24 GMT -5
My wife and I are political polar opposites. I stopped watching and paying close attention to politics on broadcast news years ago because I was PO'd and miserable all the time. Since then my wife has gotten really absorbed in it and always has something to say about it. She knows it makes me mad but she cautiously does it anyway. She says that she's just trying to understand the other side. That may be true but whenever it comes up, which is often, she wants to debate it and prove to me how correct her side is. I'm not going to argue about it. I try to change the subject. I'm just not having it. She's always upset about political matters. I'm not going to live my life in a constant stew about something I have practically no control over.
Why is it that people with opposing views are always trying to convert you to their way of thinking? It's not going to happen, EVER. It's a waste of energy and time and seems pretty arrogant to me.
I love her to death but absolutely I hate this stuff when it comes up. She didn't used to be as bad about it until she started watching the news programs. It's never as bad as they make it sound.
|
|
|
|
Post by NoSoapRadio on Sept 20, 2020 13:31:58 GMT -5
My wife could not care less about politics. I'd say that is possibly more difficult for me than if she and I were diametrically opposed.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lefty Rev on Sept 20, 2020 23:18:32 GMT -5
Linda and I were political opposites, and we regularly agreed not to vote since we would cancel each other out. Of course, I would sneak out to vote anyways. And how do you know she hasn't been doing the same thing?  |
|
|
|
Post by rangercaster on Sept 21, 2020 0:15:29 GMT -5
Political differences give a couple something else to argue about, as if they don't have enough issues already...
|
|
|
|
Post by Mikeyguitar on Sept 21, 2020 11:43:14 GMT -5
We are also a house divided. I'm not a big fan of a certain person, but the alternative is a big NO-NO. My wife has a certain "derangement syndrome" regarding a certain person, and she can't even think straight when he's mentioned. A fight will inevitably break out and she will then accuse me of loving Putin and a certain candidate. Yeah, it's crazy. We agree to not talk about it.  |
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Sept 21, 2020 11:46:57 GMT -5
The level of contempt I see between opposing political mindsets these days makes me marvel how any such relationships can survive. Good for you who can get past that and make it work.
I guess. Lol.
|
|
|
|
Post by NoSoapRadio on Sept 21, 2020 13:51:27 GMT -5
The level of contempt I see between opposing political mindsets these days makes me marvel how any such relationships can survive. A bit off topic but related -- I take my dog to run in a local park some days. Back in the winter we were there at the same as a woman and her dog. The two dogs got along so the woman and I chit chatted while the mutts played. Since then we've run into each other maybe a dozen times. We talk while the dogs wear themselves out -- just small talk - kids, grandkids, dogs, and townie crap. I saw her Saturday morning. We let the dogs go and started with the usual "what's new" stuff. Within a couple minutes she brought up the passing of a certain high profile individual. I acknowledged with a nod and "yeah, that's a shame". She then went on a particularly abusive tirade about another high profile individual and anyone who was vile enough to have supported him. I don't engage in political discussions with people I don't really know anymore -- so I just tried to turn the discussion back to the dogs. Eventually, light dawned on Marblehead, and she figured out that we were not on the same page. She gathered up her yappy mutt and headed back to her car. She turned back and told me I should be ashamed of myself and then suggested that I perform an impossible sexual act on myself. During the entire discussion I had never contradicted anything she said -- I just never said anything to indicate that I agreed with her. I expect our next meeting will be uncomfortable. |
|
|
|
Post by Leftee on Sept 21, 2020 13:54:37 GMT -5
Are you sure it’s impossible? I mean, we all assume so...
|
|
|
|
Post by NoSoapRadio on Sept 21, 2020 13:59:37 GMT -5
Are you sure it’s impossible? I mean, we all assume so... At my age and present level of dexterity -- yeah, I'm pretty sure. |
|
|
|
Post by Leftee on Sept 21, 2020 14:01:44 GMT -5
🤔
|
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Sept 21, 2020 14:10:34 GMT -5
I expect our next meeting will be uncomfortable. Sounds like Karen's problem, not yours. |
|
|
|
Post by Larry Madsen on Sept 21, 2020 14:12:05 GMT -5
Why is it that people with opposing views are always trying to convert you to their way of thinking? It's not going to happen, EVER. It's a waste of energy and time and seems pretty arrogant to me. I engage in discussions regularly with people with (potential) opposing views. I find myself asking more questions than trying to convert. I want to understand the perspective of those thinking differently. I will explain how my perspective might differ and why, if I can. Near as I can tell it often strengthens my relationship with them as opposed to weakening or breaking it. As an old white guy I especially enjoy and learn from discussions with people of a different race. In most cases I find these people think pretty closely along the lines that I do on many issues. In one particular case a discussion points were quite opposite some high profile issues. We walked away on good (maybe even better) terms regarding our relationship in general. We probably both learned a little bit and have a better understanding of each other as human beings. If your approach is argumentative in nature, then yes keep your opinion to yourself and avoid discussion. If you genuinely have a desire to learn and understand, then dialog is the only way to move forward and improve things. lastly, there is nothing in the least bit "arrogant" about it. Or so it seems to me.  |
|
|
|
Post by Leftee on Sept 21, 2020 14:12:48 GMT -5
So, if you suddenly become a widower, she's not on the short list. Or the long list.
|
|
|
|
Post by Mfitz804 on Sept 21, 2020 15:28:57 GMT -5
The level of contempt I see between opposing political mindsets these days makes me marvel how any such relationships can survive. She turned back and told me I should be ashamed of myself and then suggested that I perform an impossible sexual act on myself. The appropriate comeback for that is "I'd figure out how to do it to myself before i'd do it to you". |
|
professor
Wholenote
"Now I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet." / KMMFA
Posts: 617
|
Post by professor on Sept 21, 2020 18:56:19 GMT -5
The Matalin/Carville union reflects two professionals who are ultimately united by the process of the game rather than the specifics of the team they’re hired by.
However, as everyone is inhabiting increasingly personalized media bubbles, the general communal agreements on what constitutes social reality are becoming frayed. Thanks Facebook!
So, unless a couple occupies a vague independant
middle of the road zone, probably not too many opposites these days. OTOH I know a guy who was a member of a relatively mainstream religion who converted to a more offbeat one because his wiife to be
was smokin’ hot. So I can see that dynamic at play.
I can also see a horseshoe ends attraction, which could also be a possible sitcom. Antifa babe meets 3% er dude,
odd couple hilarity ensues.
|
|
|
|
Post by HeavyDuty on Sept 21, 2020 19:52:27 GMT -5
Linda and I were political opposites, and we regularly agreed not to vote since we would cancel each other out. Of course, I would sneak out to vote anyways. And how do you know she hasn't been doing the same thing? Because I would unplug the wheelchair elevator. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2020 18:07:40 GMT -5
I think social media and outsiders have found out that they can somehow make 2 types of personalities fight. So, I think it used to be easier, but now the choosing of sides can't be avoided. Thinks of days of middle ground and discussion |
|
|
|
Post by Leftee on Sept 22, 2020 18:12:41 GMT -5
One has to choose not to choose sides.
|
|
|
|
Post by langford on Sept 22, 2020 18:58:16 GMT -5
"But I will say that they're both centrists in their respective parties, pretty much a rarity with younger people."
I think Auf nails a key point here: centrist points of view—or at least not being hardcore ideologues. If the two sides can at least appreciate each others points of view and share values, there no reason why different attitudes to policy have to be a deal-breaker. Things will ebb and flow. The trouble arises when sides harden and neither will stand for hearing the opposing point of view.
My politics are pretty well defined, but I'm very interested in what smart people on the other side have to say. They're arguments are there for good reasons. I may not share fundamental beliefs. But I want to know their thinking as a check on my own assumptions and to recognize the times when they get it right.
To be honest, I'm happier to talk politics with thoughtful people on the "other side of the aisle" than listening to ideological noise from friends on my side of the spectrum. That's rather the point of free speech, as I recall.
|
|
|
|
Post by NoSoapRadio on Sept 23, 2020 16:00:51 GMT -5
The appropriate comeback for that is "I'd figure out how to do it to myself before i'd do it to you". Har -- notwithstanding the statement I made earlier that I don't engage these mental patients, I would lose that exchange. She is about half my age, drives a Lexus, lives in my town which is fairly affluent, and is actually pretty cute. She wouldn't have anything to do with me even if the lump in my cargo shorts was a roll of Krugerrands. Just walk away. |
|
|
|
Post by Mfitz804 on Sept 23, 2020 17:32:14 GMT -5
The appropriate comeback for that is "I'd figure out how to do it to myself before i'd do it to you". Har -- notwithstanding the statement I made earlier that I don't engage these mental patients, I would lose that exchange. She is about half my age, drives a Lexus, lives in my town which is fairly affluent, and is actually pretty cute. She wouldn't have anything to do with me even if the lump in my cargo shorts was a roll of Krugerrands. Just walk away. Or, that just makes it better because she probably has never heard anything along those lines in her life. It doesn’t have to be true, you just have to commit to it. Acting 101. Also Lawyering 101. |
|
|
|
Post by Mfitz804 on Sept 23, 2020 19:22:51 GMT -5
Guys, I allowed this thread because we were talking AROUND the actual political portion of it.
If we cannot continue to do that, I’ll have to lock it and start moderating anything with the word “politics” or it’s derivatives in it, which is the opposite of what I want to do.
|
|
