|
|
Post by jhawkr on Jan 5, 2021 8:27:19 GMT -5
My almost 5 year old granddaughter was singing this at home yesterday according to her mother. Must have picked it up at pre-school or she’s a budding lyricist! Farts are still funny and apparently something to sing about!
|
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Jan 5, 2021 8:33:19 GMT -5
Oh, our 4 and 6 year old grandkids are very fart/poop centric, particularly the 4 year old girl. Don't know if she picked it up in preschool but I can guarantee she's passing it on there.
|
|
professor
Wholenote
"Now I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet." / KMMFA
Posts: 617
|
Post by professor on Jan 5, 2021 9:53:48 GMT -5
Our 100 lb black lab approves.
|
|
|
|
Post by gato on Jan 5, 2021 10:17:11 GMT -5
A teachable moment for the small fry. Farts are composed of:
Nitrogen: 20-90%
Hydrogen: 0-50% (flammable)
Carbon dioxide: 10-30%
Oxygen: 0-10%
Methane: 0-10% (flammable)
Tough to catch one in a test tube for experimentation, but a good excurse to consume beer and eggs, in order to make a valiant attempt.
|
|
|
|
Post by HenryJ on Jan 5, 2021 11:00:44 GMT -5
Oh, I thought the phenomenon referred to in the first two posts was caused by a diet of plant-based proteins. That is, beans.
Beans, beans, good for your heart...
|
|
|
|
Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Jan 5, 2021 11:12:14 GMT -5
but I can guarantee she's passing it on there. So to speak... |
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Jan 5, 2021 11:17:50 GMT -5
Zactly  |
|
|
|
Post by Taildragger on Jan 5, 2021 12:47:26 GMT -5
One of our daughters had a "fart fixation" when she was little. I think that part of what motivated it was the fact that the other daughter is/was quite fastidious and could really be "grossed out" by anything to do with the "hind end".
|
|
|
|
Post by oldfartbassplayrwalt on Jan 5, 2021 12:59:32 GMT -5
"har, har, har, har"
-John Lee Hooker
|
|
|
|
Post by Taildragger on Jan 5, 2021 13:13:55 GMT -5
"har, har, har, har" -John Lee Hooker For you, given your screen name, posting in this thread was obligatory. |
|
|
|
Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Jan 5, 2021 13:56:11 GMT -5
Pretty much every kid goes through a period where bathroom humor is everything. Hence the popularity of the Captain Underpants and Super Diaper Baby books.
Just be glad they're not singing the actual song; all it takes is a $30 Casio keyboard.
|
|
|
|
Post by RufusTeleStrat on Jan 5, 2021 14:30:14 GMT -5
Well whoever smelt it dealt it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Jan 5, 2021 14:41:10 GMT -5
The most juvenile and crass thing I ever witnessed was a fella named Rich who squeezed an empty 2 litre plastic bottle, placed the tip to his vent, farted and simultaneously released the plastic, causing it to inhale his toxic fumes. He then sauntered to the couch where his brother was sleeping, placed the opening to his nose and, well, you can guess the rest.
When I say juvenile and crass, it doesn't mean I'm not still laughing about it all these years later.
|
|
|
|
Post by RufusTeleStrat on Jan 5, 2021 14:46:07 GMT -5
Manually operated fart gas collection device. Ingenious. The MOFaGaC
|
|
|
|
Post by bluzcat on Jan 5, 2021 20:10:48 GMT -5
Growing up my buddy’s farts and a lighter provided lots of explosive entertainment!🤣
|
|
|
|
Post by Mfitz804 on Jan 5, 2021 20:21:36 GMT -5
In the Scouts we used to scoop a guy up inside his own sleeping bag, saddle up to the opening, and let ‘er rip. Depending on how awake or aggressive the guy was, you had to be fast or you’d get punched in the butthole.
Worked better if a friend pinned down the arms as well.
|
|
|
|
Post by funkykikuchiyo on Jan 5, 2021 20:39:40 GMT -5
I worked with a guy who had probably been working on his control for years. Be suspicious if he walks up next to you and then leaves for no apparent reason. He called it "crop dusting".
|
|
|
|
Post by Riff Twang on Jan 5, 2021 20:59:00 GMT -5
I worked with a guy who had probably been working on his control for years. Be suspicious if he walks up next to you and then leaves for no apparent reason. He called it "crop dusting".
Ah yes, the silent but deadly variant. I knew a guy too.
|
|
|
|
Post by guildx700 on Jan 5, 2021 21:04:48 GMT -5
"the artificial fart under da arm"......
|
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Jan 5, 2021 21:16:25 GMT -5
A coworker once walked into my office and stood there grinning. I heard a little sound like a drop of water. It had to be the world's tiniest fart. I'm thinking parts per million must have been in the equation because it engulfed the room like nothing I've ever experienced. I fled the room and locked the door for fear someone else might come in. He had recently had gastric bypass surgery, I don't know if that somehow factored in to the atrocity.
|
|
|
|
Post by LTB on Jan 5, 2021 21:30:15 GMT -5
When our kids were young my wife’s sister took them out trick or treating and they cane back showing what she taught them to put hand under their armpits and making a fart sound just to bug her sister who didn’t think it funny 😄
|
|
|
|
Post by jhawkr on Jan 5, 2021 21:47:08 GMT -5
A coworker once walked into my office and stood there grinning. I heard a little sound like a drop of water. It had to be the world's tiniest fart. I'm thinking parts per million must have been in the equation because it engulfed the room like nothing I've ever experienced. I fled the room and locked the door for fear someone else might come in. He had recently had gastric bypass surgery, I don't know if that somehow factored in to the atrocity. It’s amazing that the tiniest “pttth” can make eyes water, evacuate a good size room and make hang time that would make Michael Jordan jealous! Parts per million indeed! |
|
|
|
Post by Opie on Jan 6, 2021 8:35:22 GMT -5
Oh, I thought the phenomenon referred to in the first two posts was caused by a diet of plant-based proteins. That is, beans. Beans, beans, good for your heart... My dad would sing us this ditty to us squealing kids: Beans beans the musical fruit, The more you eat the more you toot, The more you toot the better you feel, So eats your beans at every meal ! |
|
|
|
Post by Mfitz804 on Jan 6, 2021 10:02:16 GMT -5
We went with:
Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart
The more you eat, the more you fart...
...and the rest followed from there.
|
|
|
|
Post by Auf Kiltre on Jan 6, 2021 10:04:48 GMT -5
and there is "Why does Irish Stew only have 239 beans?"
Cuz 1 more would make it 'too farty'.
|
|
MJB
Wholenote
Who's we sucka? Smith, Wesson and me.
Posts: 634
|
Post by MJB on Jan 8, 2021 6:28:36 GMT -5
Farts are fun! Farts are **** without the mess.
- George Carlin
|
|
|
|
Post by LesTele on Jan 25, 2021 16:49:21 GMT -5
Bumped to sit alongside the latest bodily function thread.
Oscar Wilde this ain’t.
|
|
|
|
Post by jhawkr on Jan 25, 2021 16:58:19 GMT -5
Oscar who? 🐑🤓
|
|
|
|
Post by LTB on Jan 26, 2021 17:40:07 GMT -5
Maybe he’s talking about the Oscars 🥸🤪 |
|
|
|
Post by jhawkr on Jan 26, 2021 17:42:45 GMT -5
I am familiar with Oscar-Mayer! 🌭
|
|
