High School Acceptance Stress

The lack of an immediate confirmation for a decline via the same communication pathway as an acceptance seems a bit stress inducing. Wonder why that used that approach.

I recall going through the similar process when I was going to High School except we didn't really know any of the decision dates specifically and email didn't exist. One random day a letter showed up saying I was accepted. In my memory it was long enough after the testing and application that I had half forgotten I had even applied.

Best of luck.

I knew it.

Congrats. That's excellent.

It certainly was as transformative opportunity for me, far more so than college - I hope it is for your daughter as well.

^ That’s a whole other discussion.

One is especially academically rigorous and all girls.

One is a bit more on the artsy side and all girls

one is private but structured more like a tiny public school, great arts programs, and co-Ed.

I just had a long discussion with my wife about how I am happy with any of them and to just let her pick.

Which of course, is not the right answer.

Oh she won’t allow that. I have to be involved, but whatever I say, it’ll be wrong.

FWIW:
I went to a academically rigorous, all boys private high school (class of '92).

The heightened academic expectations were significant and forced me to develop exceptionally strong study habits and skills that I recognize have served me well later in life. I was pushed well beyond my comfort zone and was surrounded by kids that were clearly smarter or more capable than me. I found that motivating.

Teachers were exceptional. Poly Sci. teacher was a policy wonk that worked on Reagan's campaign. Biology teacher was formerly a practical biologist, then a professor. They consistently brought real passion to the job. I didn't connect with all my teachers but I didn't have a single one who wasn't passionate about their subject or their students.

Being boys only the level of drama on a daily basis was radically lower than my local public school which I remained close to with my circle of friends. Without the tension of the opposite sex there was just a lot less grist for the gossip mill. Less distraction by social matters. (This isn't a point about gender, simply that the homogenous population was socially much simpler)

I think the combination suited me well. Highly motivate students with limited social distraction = highly focused educational experience. I maintained all my friendships at home (still have the same group of friends I was in 3rd grade with) and was able to maintain an active social life outside of school. It was a really health balance - I separated those two aspects of my life in a way that worked for me.


When I would visit my friends at the local high school I was startled by how adrift and unfocused it felt. For a kid like me, bright but not a superstar, the private school helped me be the best version of myself. In our town school I would have probably gotten lost in the noise despite it being less than half the size of the private school. One of my friends was Valedictorian at the public school. Never brought a book home from school in 4 years. Never studied for a test. Got into every top school in the country. He didn't need to go to private school - it wouldn't have changed anything for him. But for me, I needed all the help I could get.

Anyway, realize I'm rambling. This is simply one experience, figured I'd share. I suspect your daughter is in the enviable position of picking a winner no matter what she chooses.

That is incredible news! Congratulations to her 😊

Congratulations..... for what it's worth my daughter went to a very challenging all girls high school. reality is that without the boys, there was a lot less social drama. It also allowed her to make a few close friendships that she maintains until today. She and her school mates were better able to concentrate on academics. There was plenty of time for socialization in college.

Oh wait until its time to choose a college...... talk about some stress...

anyway Congratulations again to you, your wife and your daughter. It is after all a family journey.

We’ve had no discussion about it yet, decision day isn’t until March. There are acceptance packets that are in the mail, I don’t know what additional info is in there so we’ll likely wait until they arrive to have a full discussion.

I am literally good with any of them. It’ll be my job to get her there in the morning, as it’s been since she started school, and one school is 2 minutes from my office. Trying to not allow that to be a deciding factor.

Public transportation wise, two schools require 2 or more buses and will take a long time to get to/from. The furthest one, ironically, requires only one bus because it’s more direct. My MIL is retiring in June and has already volunteered to do some pickups too. As good as public transportation can be, it’s still NYC and I’m leery of sending my 14 year old out there alone. Even though as a kid, I did it all the time. Different times.

Very true. At age 14 I was 6’0” and 215 pounds, traveling alone on public transportation was not an issue, I was not an easy target for anyone.

One of the schools does run a private bus service from the South Shore where I live to the North Shore, where the school is. If she went to that school, we’d sign her up for that as an option. That’s the one near my office. Getting her to school would be easy, but pickup at 2:40 or whatever would be harder and the bus would be perfect.

Great news

Obviously, as I am a public school product myself.

She’s been in a STEM program in junior high for 3 years, will be interesting to see if she continues with that.

It bears noting, the local Catholic school system, which accounts for all of the private schools here, only permits you to apply to three. And, most of the schools (including our #3 choice) say that there is very little to no chance of getting in if you pick it as a third choice, because they fill first from people who pick them #1 and #2.

So either applications were down, or they really wanted her.

The whole process is kind of interesting.

The next step is receipt of the admissions packages by mail. One school’s came the next day.

Then, they usually have an admissions event where the kids can go, mingle, and try to decide if they want to attend. Because of COVID, these events will be virtual and I don’t see what they’ll get out of it.

A tuition deposit is due the first week of March, so essentially that’s your decision deadline. I hope to have it done and the deposit paid long before that.