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Post by Pinetree on Jan 31, 2020 20:56:59 GMT -5
No sir I don't.
But Friday is my day off, so drive I must.
I especially dislike riding a motorcycle on a Friday... everyone seems to have their head up their butt, because they just can't WAIT to get their weekend started. It's been a rough 40 hours, and it's time to head into the settlement to get their fill of Bud Light, chow down on some Chicken Wings, and maybe meet a warm and willing member of the fairer sex.
These people drive like they should have left yesterday to get where they're goin'.
The worst offenders? Black Pickup Trucks.
You know the guy. Ten inch sewer drain pipes sticking straight up from the bed of his truck, a decal that says "Cummins Turbo Diesel" big enough to take up the entire tailgate... another Cummins sticker half the size of the rear window... a bumper sticker that proudly proclaims "Real Trucks Don't Shift Themselves!", an American flag sticker, or better yet, a red, white, and blue GLOCK sticker, because hey, ain't nuthin' screams 'MURICA!! louder than a sticker from an Austrian gunmaker in the sacred colors of the U S OF FREAKING A!
He's rollin' on 30's
Am I right or am I right?
Hell yeah, Brother.
The onliest thing redder than his hair is his bushy red beard. His tan Carhartt overalls are stained nearly black from a hard days' work in the oil fields. The LED light bar that's as wide as the front bumper has enough candlepower to kill small furry woodland critters. The only things in the back of his 8' bed (that never has to be made), are enough empty beer cans to get $20 from the aluminum recycling place.
He's riding your bumper like he musta stayed home from school to go deer hunting on the day they taught safe following distance in Driver's Ed... but he's not gonna pass you in a safe passing zone. No. He'll wait for a wide spot on the road going into a blind curve to roll coal and gap you. On a double yellow line, no less, because this Type A ain't about to let a little paint on the highway tell him how to Live His Life!!! You can practically hear the Bald Eagles screeching as he roars by.
Well, you could, but the whine of the Borg Warner S362 spooling up would drown them out.
His girlfriend, a stunner of a Brunette (prettier than any girl you ever even thought of dating)... her long, straight hair flowing down majestically from under her pink Tractor Supply hat... her firm, young breasts, completely covered up by a camouflage hunting jacket... jeans so tight that she may never be able to have kids... long, long, (did I mention long?) legs poured into a pair of knee-high Muck boots... the only thing distracting your eyes from the shapely curves of her derriere is the circular imprint of the Skoal can in her back pocket.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, she needs a stepladder to get down from this thing.
Man, I hate driving on Fridays.
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Post by rickyguitar on Jan 31, 2020 21:33:50 GMT -5
I am ready for chapter 2!
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Post by Taildragger on Jan 31, 2020 21:38:21 GMT -5
I feel for ya. I lived in San Francisco and had weekends off during the majority of my motorcycle riding days. The most dangerous part of the ride was getting out of the city to ride rural, back roads and then back into the city to my flat at the end of the ride.
Cellphones hadn't even been invented back then, so most "distracted driving" was caused when somebody was swapping 8-track tapes or female drivers were applying makeup. I can only imagine how much more dangerous it has become now with all the extra technological distractions we have these days.
As far as Fridays/weekends being worse on the highway: surfing is much the same (though minus the potentially deadly outcomes). The crowds at the beach/in the water tend to be exponentially larger and more aggressive/combative on the weekend (starting when everybody starts getting off work/out of school on Friday afternoons). That's why I scheduled my days off from work on weekdays before I retired and continue to relinquish weekends at the beach to the teeming hordes to this day. Hope you retire one day so that you will have more latitude in your scheduling of leisure activities.
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Post by RufusTeleStrat on Jan 31, 2020 21:39:16 GMT -5
No naked lady mud flaps or truck nuts?
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Post by Pinetree on Jan 31, 2020 21:42:08 GMT -5
Somehow, I didn't notice.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2020 23:02:33 GMT -5
Lately, I've noticed the baws around here have replaced the truck nuts with oversized hitches but the paint indicates nothing has ever been hitched to it.
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Jan 31, 2020 23:18:47 GMT -5
And the "Badarse Toys for Badarse Boys" sticker.
Here's a clue: anyone that has to advertise they are a badarse--ain't.
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Post by Ragtop on Jan 31, 2020 23:23:00 GMT -5
You're being pretty verbose tonight, Piney. At least for youse, anyway.
Brilliant stuff, I chuckled!
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Post by De ville on Jan 31, 2020 23:26:13 GMT -5
And the "Badarse Toys for Badarse Boys" sticker. Here's a clue: anyone that has to advertise they are a badarse--ain't. As a badarse, I can confirm this it true.^
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Feb 1, 2020 0:08:09 GMT -5
Don't mess around with Slim!
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Bronx
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Posts: 273
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Post by Bronx on Feb 1, 2020 9:20:29 GMT -5
My commute is 40 miles on the 101 freeway in Los Angeles so my only Friday option is the bike, lane splitting past all the stopped cars and trucks.
Found a lot of people will move over as much as they can to make passing them easier. Yesterday someone in a HUGE pickup must have seen me coming and pulled his mirror in so I wouldn't risk tagging it. I always give the "Thank you" wave to people who move over a little.
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Wrnchbndr
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Formerly Known As: WRNCHBNDR
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Post by Wrnchbndr on Feb 1, 2020 10:17:10 GMT -5
I was thinking more along the lines of, And the silicone chip inside my head gets switched to overload.
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hilltop87
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Post by hilltop87 on Feb 1, 2020 10:28:32 GMT -5
Friday I had the pleasure of taking I-65 from Chicago to Indy and back. Talk about a road for a yahoos. And yes, the black pickup truck drivers were out in force.
I feel sorry for most of the semi-truck drivers out there. Too many people in passenger vehicles have no respect or regard for them.
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Post by NoSoapRadio on Feb 1, 2020 12:50:48 GMT -5
How did you see her butt if she was in the truck? Or maybe she was standing in the bed along with the beer cans hanging on to the light bar?
I drive a big ol' pickup, but mine's blue. I only have a paltry 5.0 rather than a diesel -- so no coal rolling for me, but the truck does roll on 31s, which is the stock size for this model. My exhaust is stock as well. I don't have an American flag sticker on the truck because I live in a commie state and I don't want my truck to get keyed by some lunatic SJW. But I do have a red, white, and blue "Ford" oval emblem on the tailgate because the original fell off -- I thought the r,w,&,b looked better than the stock version and "Murica". I don't have any other stickers because I'm not interested in sharing any of my social leanings with strangers on the road.
I happen to be a redhead but there is a lot of gray mixed in -- so my mop isn't exactly bright. No beard because the last time I let it grow it came in white.
On any given day, my co-pilot is a very attractive female with long hair, but it's more strawberry blonde than brunette. She doesn't have a camo jacket but I do make her wear a blaze orange vest when we walk in the woods during hunting season. She doesn't dip, so that's a "no" on the Skoal, but she's definitely not having kids because I had her spayed.
She's almost a year old now so she has no trouble getting in and out of the truck, but as she gets older I'll lift her in and out as I have all my other Golden Retrievers.
I don't ride but many of my oldest friends still do -- so I hear the stories and I get it. I learned a lot from them and I look out for guys on scooters. But -- a guy with a Harley lives on the next street. He leaves for work around 5:30 AM. On every nice day in the summer he twists the throttle wide open as he takes the corner in front of my house. He wakes up every living thing in the house, which really torques my arse when I have my grandkids sleeping over.
Sometimes guys on bikes are a-holes too.
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Post by Pinetree on Feb 1, 2020 17:40:06 GMT -5
As these things go, we ended up at the Sheetz about the same time, despite his best efforts to come in first place.
Also, this is a work of (mostly) fiction.
I too, own a loud Harley, but I don't ride it to work, because I come home at 5 am.
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Post by Vibroluxer on Feb 1, 2020 18:26:14 GMT -5
You're being pretty verbose tonight, Piney. At least for youse, anyway. Brilliant stuff, I chuckled! Ditto!! And brilliant! Somebodyhas to write more.
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Post by Blacksunshine on Feb 1, 2020 19:10:41 GMT -5
And the "Badarse Toys for Badarse Boys" sticker. Here's a clue: anyone that has to advertise they are a badarse--ain't.Ha! The same could be said for the trucknuts. If your truck needs nuts, then....well...nevermind. LOL
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tmc
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Post by tmc on Feb 1, 2020 19:20:16 GMT -5
There was a dude who put a freight train horn on his truck that sounded, well, like a freight train. He picked up the nick name of "Sansa Johnson".
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Post by NoSoapRadio on Feb 1, 2020 19:27:59 GMT -5
"Also, this is a work of (mostly) fiction."
No kidding. A red head with a hot chick? -- Like that's gonna happen.
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Post by Pinetree on Feb 1, 2020 19:38:45 GMT -5
I know, right?
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Post by Mfitz804 on Feb 1, 2020 21:21:23 GMT -5
"Also, this is a work of (mostly) fiction." No kidding. A red head with a hot chick? -- Like that's gonna happen.
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Post by Opie on Feb 2, 2020 7:53:55 GMT -5
Not so funny thing, I was in town with my wife in my MR2 Spyder, tiny sports car, going downtown through a series of roundabouts, 30mph limit. Guy in a black jacked up dually PU is on my butt, I mean inches, and I'm zipping through those RO's lickity slip only to see him practically going up on three wheels to catch up and get right on me again. No way to outrun him what with traffic in front. I'm 6 weeks out of back surgery and I'm ready to slam on the brakes and whip out my can of whoop ass, but my wife calmed me down and our turn was the next one. I had a F350 big ass truck I used to haul woodwork with in my business,which is no more as I retired and rid myself of the truck. Never,ever have I acted that way, in fact I always left extra room to the guy in front just to not be an ahole. What is wrong with people nowadaze ?
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Post by K4 on Feb 2, 2020 20:24:57 GMT -5
I never tail gate.
I traded my F150 and HD for a 17 Mustang GT. I have never been tailgated as much as I am now. I have no idea why.
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Post by guildx700 on Feb 2, 2020 20:34:15 GMT -5
I used to love driving motorcycle, but I'd never drive one these days with all the inattentive driving due to cell phones, and all sorts of other distractions in other vehicles, to say nothing of the extremely exaggerated forms of road rage now days. No thanks.
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Wrnchbndr
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Post by Wrnchbndr on Feb 3, 2020 6:30:49 GMT -5
I've been on my bike and have become so enraged at tailgaters to go suicidal with a brake check. Must have been something I ate. I'm not normally that stupid. My son had a big lifted Silverado and while a passenger caught him tailgating. He didn't have a clue how obnoxious he was being at night with his LED headlights going straight into the back window of the car in front. We had an intervention.
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Post by Vibroluxer on Feb 3, 2020 6:38:30 GMT -5
Guildx, I agree. I sold my bike 5 yrs ago for the same reason. But I'm pretty sure I am going to get a 250 street and trail this summer. I should be a bit safer, and relaxed in the woods.
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Post by HenryJ on Feb 3, 2020 9:30:02 GMT -5
A brief remark on the thread title: Driving around here on Fridays has been bad for over 30 years. I'm talking US Highway 190 on Friday afternoons, mainly. The state did do something with the traffic lights, but they favor people staying on 190 at the expense of people trying to enter the highway. Long story.
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