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Post by gato on Feb 3, 2020 12:35:36 GMT -5
If your mother is too frail to change a tire by herself, you probably can’t trust her to work on your transmission, either.
Native Americans were unaware of water skiing until the Pilgrims’ arrival at Plymouth Rock in 1620.
If you find yourself backed into a dark alley and surrounded by thugs, don’t despair. I mean sure, you’re going to get the crap kicked out of you, but don’t despair.
The guy darting in and out of traffic in his monster truck, making you swerve and slam on your brakes: jackass or free spirit? Yeah, like your vote counts
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Post by Mfitz804 on Feb 3, 2020 12:36:24 GMT -5
The guy darting in and out of traffic in his monster truck, making you swerve and slam on your brakes: jackass or free spirit? Yeah, like your vote counts Can't he be both? |
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Post by Taildragger on Feb 3, 2020 13:01:54 GMT -5
*If you're turning 67, it may be a bit late to take up pole dancing...even if you're a woman.
•Kimchee-flavored ice cream is probably not a very good idea.
•Never use your toes to clean the wax out of your ears.
•When the cop who pulled you over finds a pound of crystal meth in your purse, "that's not mine: somebody else must've put it in there" may not be your best defense.
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Post by Mfitz804 on Feb 3, 2020 13:55:49 GMT -5
•When the cop who pulled you over finds a pound of crystal meth in your purse, "that's not mine: somebody else must've put it in there" may not be your best defense. It's right up there with "just holding" it for a friend. |
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Post by gato on Feb 4, 2020 6:37:27 GMT -5
The job interview: remember, they need you more than you need them. Otherwise you would have worn shoes
Some people say, “don’t walk if you can run” and “don’t sit if you can stand,” whereas I say, don’t hang out with those people. They eat tofu.
People losing money in Las Vegas is actually not that uncommon.
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Post by gato on Feb 4, 2020 18:14:23 GMT -5
Before he discovered electricity, Ben Franklin never had to change out his light bulbs.
Helium is lighter than air. That’s why it’s kept in balloons. I’m surprised you didn’t know this.
If a panhandler asks you for money, make him tell a joke first. They love that.
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