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Post by digiboy on Mar 8, 2020 9:34:01 GMT -5
Been playing bass with this guy for almost 2 years in a house band for an open jam. We get along OK but he's got a real mean streak and it comes out every now and then. He sometimes comes over and turns the bass amp down behind my back. I've asked him not to do that, just tell me if he thinks I'm too loud and I will turn down. Did it again last night and then let another bass player sit in and play thundering loud for practically the whole night.
Gettin fed up. Should I deliver an ultimatum that he stop pulling this crap, or just say screw it and give notice?
It's like dealing with a freakin' girlfriend!
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Post by tahitijack on Mar 8, 2020 15:52:04 GMT -5
Life is too short to allow some fool adjust your amp. I'd call him to let you know you are moving on.
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Post by rickyguitar on Mar 8, 2020 19:54:19 GMT -5
Do you have other playing options? I would not care to be treated like that. If this guy was my only option i might try to find a way to make it work but I would be looking for an out if it was me.
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mikem
Wholenote
Musician soundman musician soundman
Posts: 233
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Post by mikem on Mar 8, 2020 21:51:15 GMT -5
"He sometimes comes over and turns the bass amp down behind my back"...
Since this is an "open jam" is the bass amp yours or his?
If the amp is his - let him do as he pleases and bite the bullet (or give your notice) but, now, if the amp is YOURS: a brief conversation just before the next gig starts...something like: Let me know how my volume is going and I'll adjust if necessary...oh, and, (look him straight in the eyes and continue) btw, NO-ONE TOUCHES MY AMP, GOT IT?
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Post by digiboy on Mar 9, 2020 8:45:00 GMT -5
Appreciate the input, guys. Thanks. To be fair, it's a very low budget setup and I play bass through the PA which does belong to him. But it's very unnerving to be grooving along and then suddenly have the bass volume drop drastically in the middle of a tune without warning. It's not like I'm overdriving the system, or anything close. He makes a judgement call on the balance. That's fine, but he could just ask me up front to turn down.
He often lets other bass players play many times louder than me and that's no exaggeration. This last time, after turning my volume down behind my back, he let this other bassist sit in and blast away for a very long time.
Sorry to whine. The dilemma is that for the most part I like the gig and am reluctant to just blow it off. OTOH I feel like it may be the only solution.
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Post by K4 on Mar 9, 2020 10:31:14 GMT -5
I've never had that happen to me and if it did I'd have some words with the offending person.
I'd have to dump the gig or I'd probably pop the dude in the chops.
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Post by jazzguy on Mar 9, 2020 11:36:15 GMT -5
Either bring your own amp or talk to him.
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Post by dolemite on Mar 10, 2020 8:31:56 GMT -5
Wire a car battery to the volume knob?
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Post by Auf Kiltre on Mar 10, 2020 9:11:10 GMT -5
If it's his gig, his gear I'd probably bail if I couldn't deal with it. If it was a band and my gear I'd probably go along with K4 and pop the guy after an initial discussion. Unless it's your primary source of income, life is too short to play with douchebags.
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gdw3
Halfnote
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Posts: 81
Formerly Known As: Gordon
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Post by gdw3 on Mar 10, 2020 11:50:10 GMT -5
I always say "the world needs bass players". You can always find a gig as a bass player, there's is no reason to put up with that crap, especially is you're willing to play in a house band for a jam. Bass is rarely too loud. That's just controlling behavior, and if he did it after you asked him not to, that's the end of it for me.
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Post by Vibroluxer on Mar 10, 2020 19:39:08 GMT -5
Didn't Chuck Berry pop Keith for doing the same thing?
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Post by warped on Mar 10, 2020 23:55:02 GMT -5
Wire a car battery to the volume knob? Awesome!
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Post by digiboy on Mar 11, 2020 1:29:49 GMT -5
I always say "the world needs bass players". You can always find a gig as a bass player, there's is no reason to put up with that crap, especially is you're willing to play in a house band for a jam. Bass is rarely too loud. That's just controlling behavior, and if he did it after you asked him not to, that's the end of it for me.
Thanks for saying that.
Funny thing is now that I'm really ready to quit, I got nothing to lose by confronting him about this crap just to see what happens. If I don't like his response, I just walk.
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Post by larryguitar54 on Mar 11, 2020 14:01:41 GMT -5
Frankly I would let it go and soldier on. This seems to be more about 'control' than music. You can go to another band but there is no guarantee you won't have a different issue. Every band I have been in there has been a reason to pop somebody in the nose. I have given up.
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Mar 11, 2020 19:33:07 GMT -5
Dude is a control freak and he's throwing his weight around. He does not respect you, and he does not appreciate what you have to contribute.
You've already asked him not to turn you down in the mix and yet he still does it. I'd take my ball and go home.
There are a whole lot of band leaders that are like this guy; when you see the same band over time with what appears to be a rotating roster of players, that is this. The ones that stick around are either miserable or masochists.
Music is supposed to be fun.
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gbfun
Wholenote
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Posts: 464
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Post by gbfun on Mar 11, 2020 20:21:23 GMT -5
I second that !
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Post by K4 on Mar 11, 2020 22:22:33 GMT -5
I love playing the guitar and I made a decent second job out of it for many years.
However I wish I had taken the advise of a buddy and a better lead player than me. When I was in HS, he said for me to take up bass. I probably would have made a lot more money. I see 9 or 10 wanted ads for bass players for every one guitar.
Life is too short to be miserable.
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Post by digiboy on Mar 14, 2020 11:06:37 GMT -5
I planned to confront the guy tonight and most likely give him notice. Interesting turn of events. Because of the covid-19 thing, tonight's gig is canceled and on indefinite hold now. Don't know if/when it will start up again. So this whole drama with him may not even be an issue anymore.
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Mar 14, 2020 21:17:45 GMT -5
Whoa!
The disease has become the cure!
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Post by Vibroluxer on Mar 15, 2020 18:33:00 GMT -5
Lol, Peegoo!
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Post by Peegoo 🏁 on Mar 15, 2020 21:26:01 GMT -5
Hey man, I'm just reporting the facts
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Post by Duke on Mar 16, 2020 20:36:27 GMT -5
You've been with him at this open mic for almost two years. Has he just recently started doing this?
Two years is a good stretch. I'd talk with him then if you didn't like his response, give a notice.
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