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Post by gato on Apr 14, 2022 6:06:29 GMT -5
Another of those social conundrums I came across:
You're dining out at an unfamiliar restaurant and order a dish that seems perfect. However, after you've taken a few bites (maybe it's too spicy) you tell the waiter you've changed your mind and want to swap it for another choice off the menu. At no charge, of course.
Two schools of thought on this:
1. The restaurant wants you to be happy, and so takes the hit to its bottom line in stride, to keep you as a customer.
2. There was nothing wrong with the meal; it was exactly as described in the menu. You thought you would like it, but you didn't. If you don't like a movie at a multi-plex, do you petition the theater to let you take in a different movie at no extra charge?
Personally, if there was nothing wrong with the preparation or service of the meal, I wouldn't demand a change. I would see it as a lesson learned about that menu item, and simply not order it again. Full disclosure, I have sent steaks back when the restaurant interpretation of "rare" or "medium" is vastly different from my own, but this is an adjustment, not a new order.
What say you? Personal experience?
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Post by walshb 🦒 on Apr 14, 2022 6:23:03 GMT -5
#2. I've never expected them to provide a free substitute, for something I ordered but didn't like.
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Post by Rick Knight on Apr 14, 2022 6:50:44 GMT -5
#2. I've never expected them to provide a free substitute, for something I ordered but didn't like.
+1
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Post by Mfitz804 on Apr 14, 2022 6:57:22 GMT -5
I’ve never sent anything back in a restaurant unless there was a problem (raw in the center, etc.).
This has happened maybe 3 times in my entire life.
If I order something, and it’s cooked, I eat it.
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Post by orrk01 on Apr 14, 2022 7:10:20 GMT -5
Option #1 would have never even occurred to me in a restaurant. How did you come across this "social conundrum?"
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Post by Leftee on Apr 14, 2022 7:18:33 GMT -5
I’ve never sent anything back in a restaurant unless there was a problem (raw in the center, etc.). This has happened maybe 3 times in my entire life. If I order something, and it’s cooked, I eat it. If I chose it, I’ll eat it. If I really don’t like it I’ll order something else and pay for it. If the server says the restaurant will cover my second choice, I will graciously accept and leave a giant tip. I never send something back to be fixed. There is one local restaurant that I would do so. That said, I’ve never felt the need to do that there. |
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mikem
Wholenote
Musician soundman musician soundman
Posts: 231
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Post by mikem on Apr 14, 2022 7:24:49 GMT -5
When dining out I always order what I am quite-sure that I will like.
(Steaks have been returned for adjustment due to being too rare when I asked for med-well.)
I usually stay away from something that I just don't know of.....
My wife on the other hand is a bit more adventurous and will order something new to her....
Most of the time she is somewhat pleased, sometimes not so much but she will finish it.
She has never returned an entree however she has returned a mixed-drink.
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Post by Auf Kiltre on Apr 14, 2022 7:31:10 GMT -5
Yep, never returned a meal. And I don't engage the waiter with 25 ridiculous questions.
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Post by gato on Apr 14, 2022 7:32:40 GMT -5
Option #1 would have never even occurred to me in a restaurant. How did you come across this "social conundrum?" It was one of those letters to the social arbiters in one of my newspapers today. You know ... where someone writes in to ask if it's acceptable to toss a communal salad at the table using your fingers, or "can I demand that everyone at the table chip in for the tip." That kind of thing. |
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Jim622
Halfnote
Posts: 83
Age: 58
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Post by Jim622 on Apr 14, 2022 7:38:07 GMT -5
I am a believer that you are a gambler if you return food. My wife does not like anything in the least bit spicy or peppery, or over cooked, so after 30 years I learned to overcome and adapt. I eat what I ordered period, unless there's a hair or insect type of issue. She orders what she thinks she wants and then I order an alternative I think she would like if she has an issue, then we switch. It took a little while to get used too, but makes for a more enjoyable dining experience.
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MoJoe
Wholenote
Posts: 855
Formerly Known As: quiksilver
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Post by MoJoe on Apr 14, 2022 9:00:36 GMT -5
I've seen #1 to be common practice in $$$ restaurants where people at my table demanding something else were promptly served, no questions asked. Or extra money.
gato: 'Personally, if there was nothing wrong with the preparation or service of the meal, I wouldn't demand a change. I would see it as a lesson learned about that menu item, and simply not order it again.'
Me: Same.
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matryx81
Wholenote
I think I know the reason but I can't spell it.
Posts: 773
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Post by matryx81 on Apr 14, 2022 9:27:02 GMT -5
Personally, if there was nothing wrong with the preparation or service of the meal, I wouldn't demand a change. I would see it as a lesson learned about that menu item, and simply not order it again. I am in this camp as well. I would be curious to hear a rationale for the contrary point. I think if you just don't like it and want something else, you pay for that too. |
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Post by tahitijack on Apr 14, 2022 9:36:55 GMT -5
There is actually a third school of thought. Regular guests usually are treated much better than someone that has never ordered a meal. So, folks that are in my restaurant several times a month choose another item and their order is compted. Never been here before guest is allowed to order something else and and is charged the lower of the two meals.
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Post by Lesterstrat on Apr 14, 2022 9:54:05 GMT -5
If I were the eatery, I would give the customer the benefit of the doubt and comp the meal.
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Post by Leftee on Apr 14, 2022 9:59:31 GMT -5
If I were the eatery, I would give the customer the benefit of the doubt and comp the meal. I agree. My issue is one of trust when I’m on the other side of the equation. |
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Post by reverendrob on Apr 14, 2022 10:12:03 GMT -5
If I make a mistake, I pay for it.
If they do, they do.
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Post by Laker on Apr 14, 2022 10:20:55 GMT -5
If I make a mistake, I pay for it. If they do, they do. There ya got it ^^ |
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Post by Lesterstrat on Apr 14, 2022 10:23:33 GMT -5
If I were the eatery, I would give the customer the benefit of the doubt and comp the meal. I agree. My issue is one of trust when I’m on the other side of the equation. I’m with you on that. If I’m the customer, I keep my mouth shut. If I don’t like my meal, or the service, etc…, I just won’t go back. p.s. My wife could stand to take a lesson in this regard. I prepared what I thought was a pretty decent meal last night. - Smoked Filet of Hog - Pan seared green beans in a lovely balsamic vinaigrette - Steamed corn in a savory butter and black pepper sauce Well, she made it known she wasn’t too thrilled with it. Lol |
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Post by Leftee on Apr 14, 2022 10:32:03 GMT -5
We do have one place we frequent that I would send something like a steak back. They’ve won my trust.
I’m a process guy, so I also enjoy watching the whole place operate when they’re busy. They are seriously good!
The two owners are there every night and one will come to your table as you finish your meal to check in on you.
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Post by funkykikuchiyo on Apr 14, 2022 10:41:32 GMT -5
#2.
Y'all would be amazed how many people expect #1. It is also one of those weird things where the more money someone has, the more they expect things for free, on average.
#1 is for when a restaurant wants to make a gesture of good will towards the customer, and go above and beyond in terms of service. Receiving #1 should be treated with gratitude, not entitlement.
In my repair shop, we often do quick, free things. Neck adjustment, quick buff, clean a pot, tighten a jack.... It is always interesting to track how many people just take it and walk away, how many ask "what do I owe you?" and how many leave a tip.
I blame large businesses that see it as acceptable losses. A woman returns several pounds of meat that she bought and doesn't want anymore - it will get thrown out and the money lost, but it is easier than fighting. Online companies lose money all the time on this stuff in the way brick & mortar never could before too, and people expect it of every business now.
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Post by rickyguitar on Apr 14, 2022 11:13:11 GMT -5
If I make a mistake, I pay for it. If they do, they do. Yeap |
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Post by Mfitz804 on Apr 14, 2022 12:07:53 GMT -5
I would never send back a dish I just didn’t like. Some people go to a restaurant with a very different idea than I do. I go to eat, socialize and not have to cook. I’m thankful there’s a place I can do that.
Some people are expecting to be catered to (pun intended) like they are the king of the world.
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Post by RufusTeleStrat on Apr 14, 2022 12:48:18 GMT -5
I am of the opinion that you order what you want, if you are unfamiliar with the item ask a couple (2-3) key questions about what you are unclear about, and then make your choice. Preparation errors, or level of raw, rare, medium, well, aside, just because you do not care for something is generally not the restaurant's fault.
That said hair and bugs, they don't generally get a second shot. Ever.
Like Mike said its for the interaction not necessarily for the food experience, in many cases.
The only time I experiment is on a cruise when you can order multiple items to try different things. It is wasteful so I try not to do so often or order an item as appetizer size.
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Post by Leftee on Apr 14, 2022 12:51:01 GMT -5
I would never send back a dish I just didn’t like. Some people go to a restaurant with a very different idea than I do. I go to eat, socialize and not have to cook. I’m thankful there’s a place I can do that. Some people are expecting to be catered to (pun intended) like they are the king of the world. And someone else does the dishes. |
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Post by Auf Kiltre on Apr 14, 2022 12:54:13 GMT -5
I think I've returned 2 things that I can think of. One was a filet mignon in Jack Daniel's sauce that I'm pretty sure they forgot to cook. I like medium rare, even rare. But this this was raw. The other thing was a tuna fish sandwich at a Tim Horton's fast food restaurant in Downriver Detroit. I'm pretty sure it had sat for a long time. It had the texture of shredded paper, with tangy cigarette ash sauce. It was somewhere between green and grey. I spit out the one bite and fled to the bathroom to rinse my mouth out. I am really surprised I didn't get food poisoning.
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Post by Leftee on Apr 14, 2022 13:00:24 GMT -5
I think I've returned 2 things that I can think of. One was a filet mignon in Jack Daniel's sauce that I'm pretty sure they forgot to cook. I like medium rare, even rare. But this this was raw. The other thing was a tuna fish sandwich at a Tim Horton's fast food restaurant in Downriver Detroit. I'm pretty sure it had sat for a long time. It had the texture of shredded paper, with tangy cigarette ash sauce. It was somewhere between green and grey. I spit out the one bite and fled to the bathroom to rinse my mouth out. I am really surprised I didn't get food poisoning. True! Once you taste it it’s usually too late. |
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Post by Mfitz804 on Apr 14, 2022 15:48:28 GMT -5
I would never send back a dish I just didn’t like. Some people go to a restaurant with a very different idea than I do. I go to eat, socialize and not have to cook. I’m thankful there’s a place I can do that. Some people are expecting to be catered to (pun intended) like they are the king of the world. And someone else does the dishes. Exactly. I just don’t have that whole “you are here to serve me” attitude that some people have, not limited to just restaurants. I saw plenty of these people when I worked in retail. I remember one time my manager found me standing in the stockroom l, doing absolutely nothing. He walked by, went to do whatever, then came back a couple minutes and I was still there. He asked me what I was doing. I said something along the lines of “my customer yelled at me that she was in a hurry, obviously”. I was kind of famous for stuff like this and it is pretty amazing I was never fired by any of the various managers I had. Not even the time my assistant manager wrote me up for “insubordination” because I didn’t take a second customer while he talked to his girlfriend. It wasn’t so much the write up as my taking it to the bathroom and peeing on it instead of signing it. |
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Post by jazzguy on Apr 14, 2022 16:00:47 GMT -5
#2
Just don't be dumb like I was on my honeymoon in Paris and order in French
I forget what I was attempting to order but I got a plate of.....liver! blech
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