The Titanic didn't have to face the "FATBERG" of today

Talk about clogged arteries...

Probably like many others, I was thinking about nutritional value and/or the filling inside of twinkies but I couldn't find the hook that made it funny so I'll just play it straight.

Many years ago I purchased an old farm house built in 1802. I'm sure that the septic system wasn't original but what was there was at least 75 years old. The day after I installed a dishwasher we had problems. There are many advantages to living on a farm without neighbors and one of them is that you can address septic systems without the added expense of permits and inspections. What I had was a deep brick lined cesspool about 5ft across. Growing up on a farm myself, I had long ago learned that you face problems with simple ingenuity. I waited until January and designed my own fatburgh removal device using a modified shovel at first and then adding extensions of pipe. Over two days, the fatburgh was removed resulting in a pile about four feet tall and just as wide which I buried some distance away. I ended up converting my cesspool into a septic tank with about 300ft of perf pipe. I was lucky to have a friend with a backhoe. A weeks worth of hard work saved me about $30 - $35K and I spent under $1000 in gravel and pipe. In the next month I revised the plumbing so that only the kitchen and the toilets went to my new septic system and the showers, bath and washing machine went to dry wells. I incorporated antifatburgh devices in the basement which were a traps made from plastic 50 gallon drums, a small submersible sump pump and a removable fat collection bucket. All I needed to do was empty the bucket ever six months.

I sold that house about ten years ago to a fella with tons of cash and he must have thrown another $150K into the house with renovations. I talked to him last year and he told me that the septic system is still as I left it because it works.